Non-toxic deodorant!

Hi everyone!

    I hope all is well, and everyone is having a great start to their week. I wanted to share with you a great product that was introduced to me by someone who has the same beliefs in natural and holistic healthcare. 

About six months ago I was doing some research, and read an article on how toxic our everyday deodorants are. Almost all drugstore deodorants contain chemicals such as aluminum, fragrance, and sulfates/parabens for example. All of these harsh chemicals are put into our everyday household products. I myself suffer from terrible monthly cysts in my breasts before my period. They hurt very badly, and kept thinking of several ways to try and decrease the inflammation. I thought, "Hey let's research and find a non-toxic and natural deodorants....that actually work!" After researching several brands nothing worked or it was labeled "natural," but still contained terrible chemicals. Remember read your labels...it could still contain toxins, even if it says natural. Make sure the product says 100% natural or 100% organic in the ingredient list. 

A friend of mine began selling a product line called, Ava Anderson Non-Toxic Products. I was very curious about this brand of house hold products, which are all 100% non-toxic! How awesome? I was thrilled. It's like a one-stop-shop. I can get my cleaning supplies, bath/body/hair products, baby products, candles, makeup, and even scents (roll on non-toxic perfumes, but we don't like the word because fragrance is bad!) 

The first product I was able to test out was the deodorant. I was hesitant at first because I have such sensitive skin. Sometimes essential oils can irritate my skin. Almost all natural deodorants contain essential oils. Luckily I had zero problems with this. It smells like chocolate chip ice cream! To some that might be a no-no, but for myself I really enjoy it. I first apply the deodorant after I am completely dried off from the shower. Do not apply when there is moisturize still on your underarms. This can cause irritation. It lasts a good 10 hours before really needing to be reapplied. I would only reapply if you are going to be outside in the heat, working out, or are going some where special. Although I don't sweat terribly under my arms, it seems to contain my sweat to a minimum. I do know others who have tried this, and said at first it didn't help with their perspiration, but after using it for a week, their perspiration decreased. They think it is because your body is ridding if the toxins from the old deodorant. I myself noticed my cysts decreased, and it has never irritated my underarms or caused any irritation. Remember anything put on your skin is absorbed fully into your body! I highly suggest this non-toxic deodorant! It's awesome :) 

http://www.avaandersonnontoxic.com/shop.aspx

Vitamins and Food Changes

Hi everyone!

     I just wanted to share a list of my vitamins that I currently take to help balance ALL of my hormones, that have been prescribed by my new amazing doctor! I also want to share a little bit about what I have changed in my diet, and what I am currently eating. 
     Currently my diet DOES NOT consist of soda, candy (only organic dark and milk chocolate), I have gone 75% Gluten-Free, and I have stayed away from ALL fast foods, including Subway! I have been on this new lifestyle change since January 1 of this year. I am so proud of myself that I have not had 1 soda in 5 months now! I loved soda, but now instead I've switched to Coconut Water. It takes a little bit to get used to, but I love it! Healthy changes in my food have helped me feel so much better. There was a week a few months ago, where I slipped up with what I was eating. I couldn't believe the mood swings I was feeling, and how tired I felt. It was awful. I finally got back on the band wagon, and feel so much better. Although my doc hasn't changed my Thyroid meds yet, (we wanted to wait until my Adrenals were fixed), I still have my up and down days. I have to tell you that in 5 months I am down 12lbs. total just from vitamins and eating better!! I do try to walk 4 times a week doe at least 2 miles, but I just can't believe how fast I dropped the weight. So awesome!
     As for my vitamins, I am on several. I will say that living this lifestyle is a huge lifestyle change. I am trying to budget my money better to afford better foods and my vitamins, but to me it's worth the money! Below is a list of my vitamins.

Alfalfa- 3 times a day 
Trace Minerals (Tastes terrible. You add to water, and it takes just like ocean water)
B12 (Helps with energy, but also calming when stressed out. Take 3 a day)
B Complex
D3 8000 IU (best way to get large amounts is to buy the drops that are 4000IU each)
Ester C
Iron
Super Digestive Enzyme (Have a lot of tummy issues from my Thyroid, and this has helped a lot)
Multidopholous (20 Billion probiotic) 
7 Keto (Helps fix Adrenals! Mine are off when I wake up and at 1-3 in the afternoon. I take two a day)
Iodoral (Thyroid people need this!)
Alpha Lipoic Acid (Decreases inflammation and helps stabilize Cortisol levels)
Primrose Oil 

         I hope this helps some of you that are on this struggle as well. I am going to be 24 in 2 months, and was told in January I had the blood work of a 55 year old woman. I am so happy I made these changes, and I already feel 75% better (hopefully 100% when I get new Thyroid meds). I will be having my 3rd check up with my doc in 3 weeks. I will update as soon as my blood work comes back!

Fight Fatigue W/ Dr. Oz

I found it awesome that today I went on the Dr. Oz website, and came across this awesome article. It explains that we need hormonal balancing to fight our fatigue. It lists solutions and tips on how to get your energy back!


http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/fatigue-solution

Tarte Cosmetics! Review

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week. I have been very busy lately due to my Esthetics State Board Practical Exam. I have been studying like crazy for the last several weeks, and just took my test on Tuesday. I am so happy it is over!


For the last several months I have been doing a lot of research on different professional makeup brands that do not contain most of the harsh and hazardous chemicals put into cosmetic products. With my immune system being at jeopardy at it is from my Thyroid Disease, having a makeup brand that I am count on for healthier products is very important!

I have learned that most cosmetic products such as mascara and lipstick contain actual petroleum or gasoline. These chemicals get into your body though our largest organ....the skin. When these chemicals enter into our system, throughout the years it can cause a hormonal imbalance or even cause us to have a high level of heavy metals.

Tarte cosmetics is one of the very few high-end brands that does not contain parabens, phthalates, and synthetic fragrances. They use vitamins, minerals and natural fruit and plant extracts to create their products! With using natural ingredients it helps the signs of aging within the skin.

Tarte's packing is made from recyclable or post-consumer recycled material. They believe in minimizing our carbon footprints. Tarte cosmetics is also cruelty-free!

Over the last two years I have fallen completely in love with their entire makeup line. From their blushes to lip-stains, and even foundation! I give Tarte Cosmetics a 10 out of 10 for a Go-Green company, as well as amazing products over-all!

Tarte is always coming out with great specials and packages around the holiday season. They even have a sale section on their website! Now who doesn't love a good sale? :)

I highly recommend checking our Tarte Cosmetics! These products can be found directly from their website, Sephora, Ulta, and QVC.

I have listed below my favorite products:

Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush (Really lasts all day!)

Lights, Camera, Lashes Mascara (My favorite holy grail mascara!)

Skinny SmolderEyes Amazonian Clay Waterproof Liner (Awesome super pigmented!)

Amazonian Clay Waterproof Shadow Primer (Shadow doesn't budge!)

Glamazon Pure Performance 12-hour Lipstick (So beautiful!!)

This is just a small list of my favorite products from Tarte! Do your body a favor and try them out today!

Tarte Website: Copy into search engine

Http://Tartecosmetics.com/raf/click/?i=0z!9r5-6k2

Stop The Thyroid Madness!

After having surgery in 2009, I was educated about "Stop The Thyroid Madness," in July of 2010. My mom had a friend who suffered from Thyroid Cancer several years ago. The woman suffered from terrible symptoms caused from her Thyroid hormones being off balance, which caused the rest of her bodies hormones to be thrown off as well.

She began researching alternative health care options to help treat her symptoms. The woman's doctor kept checking her TSH level, or the main Thyroid level that is checked in Western Medicine, which kept coming back normal. She couldn't believe it because she still felt terrible. Her pulse was over 100 BPM, her body ached all the time, she couldn't sleep, and felt completely exhausted all of the time. She knew she had to do something about this! The woman couldn't live this way any longer.

My mom's friend came across the group called, "Stop The Thyroid Madness." Stop The Thyroid Madness is a group of people that came together to help educate others about the Thyroid, and the proper blood work and supplements to take to help with your symptoms. Not only does it help educate about Thyroid Disease, but it also helps educate others about different disorders or diseases caused by hormonal imbalance and autoimmune. I would recommend this information to everyone in the world. It teaches you what the body needs to survive and live a healthy life.

After reading the book, "Stop The Thyroid Madness," I came to realize that alternative treatment would be the best option for treating my Thyroid. The process first began by checking several different hormonal levels. I won't lie, and tell you this process is easy. It's not an easy process, and you need to read the book to understand what levels need to be checked and why. It's hard for me to explain in one post....we would be here all day. I highly recommend looking at STTM website, and reading the book. It is filled with very helpful information that will help you understand what you need to do for your health.

The next step was to complete an Adrenal Fatigue Test. This test consists of spitting into a tube. You have to repeat this for a total of 4 times during the day. Then, you mail them over-night. It takes about two weeks for the results to come back. What it checks is to see where your energy levels drop during the day that cause your fatigue. This can cause an increase or decrease in cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone released by stress or anxiety. This can cause an emotional or physical response. People with high elevated cortisol levels maybe more prone to infection. When discussing the Thyroid and cortisol levels together it can cause high blood pressure or hyperglycemia. When we do not have enough cortisol we feel very tired. We can become depressed, anxious, or irritable. If you are feeling symptoms of this don't ignore them. Although your doctor might ignore your symptoms and say "You are fine!" You need to educate yourself about your own health. Then, you are able to research doctors who believe in fixing the whole body, and help you to love a longer and healthier life by using a mix of Western and Eastern Medicine. You get the best of both worlds.

After, fixing the adrenal fatigue, I was put on steroids to help. I found a physicians assistant in my area who was somewhat on the page with STTM, but still had a lot to learn. My experience with steroids were terrible! I had lost 25lbs the summer before, and all my hard work was gone. The steroids caused me to feel hungry all the time and the water weight I carries was terrible. My face blew right up! I will never go on them again. I felt worse! I didn't feel like I was getting better. About four months after being on steroids, I switched my Thyroid medication from Synthroid (T4) to Cytomel (T3). The Cytomel helps reverse symptoms caused by to much T4. Once again you can find this information in STTM website and book. The entire year of 2011, and into 2012 I felt terrible!

I was so confused as to why I felt so bad. I was doing the right process, and still feeling terrible. Until just recently in December of 2013, I met an amazing doctor in my area who treats patients using hormonal balancing and supplements. I get the best of both worlds with my new doctor. A little bit of Western Medicine and a little bit of Eastern Medicine. She has changed my life forever! I feel so fortunate to have found an awesome doctor. In one month of seeing her I was put on 12 new supplements or vitamins, and I feel AMAZING! I retook another Adrenal Fatigue test last month, and still have bad Adrenal Fatigue. Instead of steroids my new doctor uses DHEA, which is a vitamin to fix your fatigue. I will be listing my supplements in the next blog post! I suggest reading STTM to help educate yourselves on a new way to help treat your symptoms. It helped educate me, so that when I met my new doctor we were both on the same page of treating my health problems!

Stop The Thyroid Madness:

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/

Adrenal Fatigue:

http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/saliva-testing-for-adrenal-hormones

Thyroid App: Track your symptoms, levels, and order an Adrenal Fatigue Test right from the app!

App: Thyroid Add by My Med Lab

Post Surgery!

I can't believe that I am writing this post today (January 25) because 4 years ago today, was the day I found out about my Thyroid Disease, and had the biggest scare of my life. It has been such a long journey, and I am happy to say that four years later I feeling amazing! This is all due to alternative healthcare. It is the #1 reason I started my Thyroid Madness Journey Blog. I want to help educate others on alternative holistic (whole body healthcare), and to give you the information you need to live a long, happy, and healthy life. I will be posting my own updates on how I am feeling using new supplements, and the "correct" Thyroid medications. I want you to go along this journey with me to give you hope, that we can be truly happy inside and out!

I feel so fortunate to have had family friends, who have had similar health experiences, and researched new and better ways of treating diseases and health problems through alternative healthcare. I will be posting about my recent alternative health experiences very soon. It takes time because I need to tell the story from the very beginning. I need you to connect the pieces to give yourself a better understanding of where this journey has taken me. I want to help educate you on your own health, as well as help you understand there are ways of fixing all of your health problems! Don't give up...I'm here to help you. I feel that my life experiences happened to me for a reason, and that is to help others going through similar experiences.

After having surgery in 2009, I was feeling much better over-all. When my surgery was complete Dr. Ryan, my surgeon, told me that they had found more nodules when they did the biopsy, and was very happy that they found ZERO cancer cells. It was such a relief!

The first three days post surgery were not that fun. I felt ok due to the pain meds, but trying not to turn your head or move it to quickly was terrible. My poor mom had to give me a shower because I couldn't turn my head to cleanse it, or even really comb my hair. I felt AWEFUL, but tried to keep a smile on my face that my surgery went perfect!

About two days later (post surgery), I took the nausea patch off from behind my ear. The patch helps with nausea after having a surgery if you are more apt to "vomiting." I shouldn't have taken the patch off so soon. That night I laid in bed with the worst stomach ache in the world. I hadn't vomited since the hospital. At 4 A.M. I was standing at the counter in the kitchen hovering over a garage bin. My mom tried to support my neck with a towel to help with the pressure. Trying to puke in a garbage bin 2 feet away from you takes some skill! Let's just say it was the worst puke of my life. I hate to share it, but it's part of the experience. It felt like someone was ripping my neck open. The pressure was terrible. Come to find out, it was my pain meds that made me sick, and the patch helped keep the nausea down until it came off. I must have an allergy to prescription pain meds. I won't be taking them again after that experience.

About a week later I was felt amazing! I could finally shower by myself, straighten my hair, and drive. The doctor tells you to wait two weeks before driving, and I waited just a week. Oops!

I also went for my post-op appointment a week later. Dr. Ryan was at the hospital that day performing surgeries, and of course I get stuck with the resident again to do my check up. She was in her late 20's. The woman had no idea who I was or what she was even doing for my checkup. She read my chart quick, and stated, "I'm going to take your stitches out now." I said, "Um no! I had medical glue." She asked me if I was positive. I was already annoyed. In my head I kept saying read my damn chart lady! She then got on the topic of birth control. I wanted to go back on my "BC" for period control. I went off of it before my surgery to clean out my system. She insisted on telling me about using condoms with a spermicide, and diaphragm. Really 1950's style? I kept saying to myself, "Lady are you serious?" My mother is a NURSE MIDWIFE! I know all about that stuff since I was 8, and she would never tell her patients the 1950's version of BC! I told the lady never mind and I would call Dr. Ryan myself. She clearly didn't answer my question. Hope she never got into women's health.

After all my hurdles during 2009, I couldn't believe it was finally over. I had one of the best years of my life. I had an amazing summer, and went back to school in the fall. My best friend and love of my life became official that September, and it really was the best year of my life!

The picture below contains two pictures of what my neck looked like before and after. Top two are before, and bottom two are of after the surgery.

Surgery Day! May 5, 2009

On May 5, 2009, I walked into the hospital to have my Nodular-Thyroid removed. I was very nervous. That morning waking up, I was surprisingly pretty calm. The only thing really driving me nuts, was that my mother was late because she was doing her hair and makeup. The drive to the hospital took around 40-45 minutes. The car ride was on back roads. I could nausea from the hills coming as soon as we hit the road.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:00 A.M. My surgery was scheduled for 8:30 A.M. I was pretty excited knowing I would be my surgeon’s first patient of the morning. She would be nice and rested for my surgery. When we finally checked into the hospital, they brought me back to the"get ready for surgery room." I have to say everyone that I dealt with that morning was awesome. My nurses, anesthesiologist, and surgeon were great. My anesthesiologist told me she was giving me some tequila, and in a few minutes I would be feeling awesome, and I did. Last thing I remember was being wheeled into the operating room, and the nurses moving me onto a table. i remember them pulling my legs together to strap them down as well. That's all I could remember!

Wake up time! This was the worst part! I wake up to find myself in post-op with other patients around me. Number one I can't see a thing because I have a jelly-like substance covering my eyes, and no glasses to see. I called over the nurse, and and told her I couldn't see. She wiped my eyes, and put on my glasses. As soon as I got my vision back I felt dizzy and nauseous. My poor nurse held the puke pan, and tried to support my neck as I puked. It was a lovely time. They gave me a ton of medicine before surgery so I wouldn't get sick after. Well I still puked. On top of it (I'm not afraid to share this) I had my period. Got it that morning at the hospital. It wasn't fun! Trying to puke, after having a four hour surgery where they sliced your neck open...not fun! It was very painful. Luckily the nurse who I had was awesome. She gave me applesauce immediately, and popped those meds right in me! Oh, and then trying to pee after surgery is difficult. My nurse actually thought I could pee in a bedpan. Are you serious? I can't pee laying down. She finally rolled over the portable toilet. I had to force myself to pee, after she told me she would have to put a catheter in. Ummm I think not!

Finally after about an hour in post-op, I was wheeled to my room where my parents, grandparents, and friends awaited me. It was awesome waking up to them totally out of it! Once I finally got settled, the nurses kept coming in, and checking my vitals and see how I was doing. I couldn't believe how much my blood pressure dropped after my thyroid was removed, and my pulse went down from 125 BPM to 76 BPM.

A few hours later, I was starving, and demanded for a turkey sandwich and gingerale. I was fortunate enough to be on the peds floor because I was only 19 at the time. Let me tell you the nurses on the peds floor are awesome! They took the best care of me, and I am so thankful for them.

Trying to get up and pee a few times was the hardest part after surgery. I had to have a drainage tube for the first day, and had to push the "IV stand" around with me. The first time I looked in the mirror at my neck, it freaked me out a little. I don't do blood and guts very well. When I saw the drainage tube and incision I freaked a little. It was disgusting. My mom thought everything was so kool (incision and blood). She even wanted to keep my Thyroid in a jar at home, but my surgeon wouldn't let her.

 
I found out in the hospital that my surgery lasted am extra two hours than expected. They found more nodules in the back of the Thyroid that they couldn’t see on the scan. My dad likes to tell the story how Dr. Ryan first came out to talk to them after they were done operating. He said he held his breathe when she said,“Well we found more nodules, the surgery took longer than expected. We just did the biopsy, and no cancer cells were found!” I couldn't imagine being a parent sitting there waiting for either the best or worst news about your child. I think it was one of the best moments my parents have ever had together. I really do have the best parents!

 
The next day was the worst of the post-op. I had to have a ton of blood work taken, which of course they stab me a hundred times to get one vein. So frustrating! Then, it was the big removal of the “DRAINAGE TUBE.” Well my awesome surgeon sent in one of her residents in to remove the tube. Now, Dr. Ryan insisted that they would drug me up for this part, and it wouldn’t hurt that bad. Lie…it was like someone was ripping my incision wide open. When they first started I closed my eyes, and held my mom’s hand as tight as I could. Well what I didn’t know, it that there was one LONG stitch holding tube inside. I felt the resident tug slowly across my entire neck. Of course it got stuck, and she had to tug harder to remove the stitch. I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. Then, I felt the tube slide across my neck, and out it went. Thank god! It was awful. I was lucky that my actual incision was held together by medical glue, and didn’t need any stitches. Sorry for the graphics...it had to be told.

 
The next day, I was released from the hospital at 11:00 A.M. I felt like my summer could finally begin, and my life would be changed forever!

My Journey

Hi everyone! I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day, and it is filled with lots of love and peace. Now I believe you have come to read my blog today for a reason. This reason could be due to some higher powers working, but I just like to call it fate.

My name is Kahley, I am a 23 year old living in Western, NY. I have a degree in Childhood/Special Education, as well as a license in Esthetics (skincare). As a recent college graduate, I decided to postpone my (already accepted) graduate school program, and instead began a career in Esthetics. When I first sat down to figure out why the field of skincare would be my perfect career, I began to look at my bigger picture. During the summer of 2011, I did a lot of soul searching from my home life, career, finances, and spirituality. 

After a lot if thinking...my light bulb went off! I realized that I could put my two careers into one. You are most likely starting to think, "Why is this girl rambling on about her career...let's get on with the Thyroid stuff." In the end I decided the field of skincare was the best place I could give the greatest information that was ever given to me. 

At the age of 19, I woke up one morning in January of 2009, (just after transferring to my 4 year college/first time away from home), with my neck enlarged. When I woke up that morning, I decided to fix my hair in the mirror. This is when I noticed my giant neck! I had a cough that lasted about a month from a prior cold. I thought my lymph nodes could be enlarged because of my cold/cough. Lucky enough, my mom who is a nurse practitioner/nurse midwife, came to my rescue. I called her up to ask her about my neck. She just told me to run over to the campus wellness center to get it checked out. She jokingly said, "It could just be your Thyroid." My response was, "What the heck is a Thyroid?" My mom told me it was most likely fine, and just from my cough.

After waiting 30 minutes in the waiting room, I was finally called in. After an hour with the nurse practitioner, I came walking out of the office with my life changed forever. It sure enough was my Thyroid. The first thing the nurse practitioner told me that it could be the big C word. The word NO ONE wants to hear...CANCER! After freaking out and crying by myself in the wellness center, she took some blood work to see what my levels were. I called my parents right after. I called my mom on the phone crying hysterically. I could hear it in her voice that she was scared. My mom and dad were my saviors when I found out something was wrong with my health. I can never thank them enough for what they have done for me. 

A week later I went home for my first test. I went to my family doctor to tell me the same exact thing the school nurse told me....your Thyroid is enlarged. Every two weeks for the next 6 months, I would come home for  a new test or blood work. My poor parents, would drive two hours to get me at school on Friday, two hours to get back home, and then do it again on Sunday. I really have the BEST parents anyone could ask for!

After the first two weeks knowing of my new disease, I was scheduled for my first ultrasound. As soon as I walked into the room, the girl (who was not friendly at ALL), told me the lay down on the table. As soon as she started my ultrasound she asked, "Are you going anywhere for spring break?" I responded, "No, why?" The tech said, "Oh because I think you’re going to need it." I immediately knew something was wrong. It was something other than just an enlarged Thyroid. I came running out of the room. My dad followed me to see what was wrong. I felt bad because I really did have a freak-out moment on him. I could see it in the tech's face when she did the ultrasound that something didn't look right. Ultrasound Techs are not supposed to say anything or even hint at anything they can see on the screen. I was so upset that her expressions gave it all away. 


The next day after getting the results, I found out I had a Multi-Nodular Thyroid. I had 6 total cysts on my Thyroid. I had 3 on the left lobe, and 3 on the right lobe. Your Thyroid is shaped like a butterfly, and we can think of the lobes as the wings. The doctors think that my one cyst had burst into another cyst, causing it to swell. A week before finding my neck enlarged, I had jumped out of the top bunk bed at school. We had an emergency fire-drill at midnight, and I guess the fastest way of getting down was to jump. I think when I hit the ground, the impact caused the one cyst to burst, which called the swelling or bleeding. I kid you not, I could push out my neck and it would look like a bullfrog. It was disgusting! Of course my mom and sister thought it was awesome looking. Well it was the size if a golf ball when it came out! My family joked about it to make me feel better. We nicknamed my neck, Shrek Neck!

At the end of February 2009, I had to complete the "annoying" two day Thyroid scan. I have to tell you this was the biggest pain in the butt! I had to skip school (which in college is not always a good thing when you have a ton of work to do). The scan consisted of being at the hospital two days in a row, for about 4 hours each. On the first day the tech takes a scan of your neck under a huge machine. It sounds like you’re in an airplane, and goes back and forth around your head/neck. You are not allowed to move a muscle the entire time you are under the machine. It lasts around 25-30 minutes. The next day they give you an injection of iodine that lights up the nodules in the Thyroid. The tech then takes another scan. Well, the man who did my scan could not find a vein to give me the shot of Iodine. I do have very stubborn veins, but the man stabbed me at least 7 times! Finally, he called an Ultrasound Tech who had a portable machine. He used it to find a vein. I left with some lovely bruises. In my head all I kept doing was laughing at this man. He He was creepy to begin with too, and it kept my mind off things. After getting the Iodine in my system the tech completed the scan. My mom was able to watch the second scan, and see the picture of my Thyroid. The tech said he had never seen one so weird looking. Thanks man!

Finally, after all the blood work and tests, I met with my Endocrinologist. Let's just say she was not what I expected. She was rude from the moment I met her. She also made it seem like it was my fault for having a sick Thyroid. She told me flat out that she wasn't going biopsy my cysts. She would have had to have stabbed me 15 times to get them all. Then she stated, "Best thing to do is take it out. There are no ways of fixing the cysts or inflammation." My heart sank. I asked her if there were any others ways of treating it besides removing the whole thing. She said, "Nope!" You have to love those one answer statements people make. Ugh, I was so frustrated now. All I kept thinking was, "Great I'm not going to graduate school on time because of this stupid doctor! I was so mad, scared, angry, and felt alone. I would go to sleep at night, toss and turn, and keep thinking someone up there, please protect me during my surgery and after. Let everything be ok. My biggest concern was hoping I wouldn't be awake when they pull the breathing tube out of your throat. Of all things, that's what I was concerned with the most. Oh, I make myself laugh now!

I know this is quite an introduction to my journey! Just hang in there. In March 2009, I met with my surgeon. I have to say she was awesome! She had children my own age, and could understand how I felt. She reassured me that she had done this surgery on a 5 year old before, but had never seen my type of case. The first question I asked, "Dr. Ryan could my surgery wait until after the semester is over." She calmly said with a smile, "Of course!" What a relief that was. That day I was scheduled for surgery a week after I got home for the semester in May. Two months after meeting Dr. Ryan, the big day finally came. It was surgery time!